5 things you MUST NOT DO in Spain LightSpeed Spanish

Here at https://lightspeedspanish.co.uk/ we are pleased to offer you a fun look at some of the cultural taboos that a Brit might stumble across in Spain.


  1. You forgot the 6th rule – no matter how much they may beg, never, no matter what, feed them after midnight.

  2. Omg… the tin of peas killed me!!! 😂😂😂👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻
    I never realised, after following you all these years, just how funny you are 👌🏻🇬🇧

  3. Gracias! Gracias! y Gracias! de nuevo. Soy de EEUU y como un principiante del idioma espanol, es dificil encontrar algo que es interesante y tambien que es algo vale a pena en el proceso de aprender. Tu video en mi entender es genial! Tu estilo de amistoso me aprecio mucho. Felicitaciones! Tu eres un maestro magnifico.

  4. I think he exaggerates quite a lot. This shouldn’t be taken seriously at all, if that’s what he really means. Or is he joking? I’m Spanish and I’ve never heard anybody mention the “magma whatever” when offering someone a cup of hot coffee. You would just say “cuidado, que quema”. And you DO get very hot coffee in bars and coffee shops, unless you tell them otherwise. Maybe it happens wherever he lives in Spain, it’s not the same everywhere. I have to specify how I like my coffee when travelling around Spain myself. As for the rest of the five tips…. well, ¡tres cuartos de lo mismo! 😁😜

  5. Oh, my goodness, Gordon! Funniest thing I’ve seen in ages! This should go viral. Either that or you should be on stage as a comedian. I love your perfectly straight face and dead serious delivery. This video is a keeper for sure. I’m going to share it with many others. Cheers from Texas!

  6. That was hilarious!!!! You are so awesome!! I’m married to a Colombian woman and I share your pain! Thanks so much for the video👍🏻

  7. My Australian friend who is learning Spanish sent me this and asked for my opinion. I was worried I would find misguided stereotypes but I was wrong.
    So, here’s my novel about it.
    -Hour-long farewells, great conversations at the doorstep? Guilty as charged.
    -Burned mouth? Yup. I have had a kettle in my house for 20 years, but mainly to mess with other Spanish people. “Why do you need an appliance just to heat water? How many times are you going to need water that hot in your lifetime?” my friends ask.
    -Ventilation? Yes, better freezing than stuffy. I live in the South, where it is never really cold anyway, but yes, I am the person opening windows when my inlaws are not looking, to save them from catching their deaths from recycled air. I am afraid that the idea of heat preservation is alien to us. Learning, though.
    -Death jokes? Well, I thought it was me who had a weird sense of humour and “people” didn’t like hearing jokes about that. I am just realizing that it is Spanish people and not “people” in general who are appalled by my jokes. Maybe because I grew up hearing my (Spanish) father’s very dark jokes, I find them very funny, but they don’t work with everyone.
    -Food. Also true. Not for 100% of the population, but for a majority. I find it annoying when people’s lives seem to revolve only about food. Have you been to Salamanca? you can ask someone, and their answer will not be about architecture or nightlife or whatever. It is “¡Qué bien se come allí!” I hate having a nice conversation devolving into a study of the bleeding peaches, whether they are fresh or not fresh or if the ones we had on Friday were fresher… So, yes, the food one is true. A Finnish diplomat was speaking on Spanish radio and everything was going great until the poor man dared to say he missed food from his home country. What? But but but you are in Spain now, how can you possibly miss any other kind of food? That is going to take a couple of generations ( or more) to change.
    So, sorry for the extremely long post (like a doorstep conversation) and thanks for your video. I am getting visitors from the UK soon and it is going to come handy!

  8. Less than one minute into the video i just KNEW Cynthia was not in the room or even in the house, and I just laughed even more when you said something like “at least until Cynthia sees this video”!.
    Thank you for making my day on this cold, dark, rainy and … now just wonderful Sunday morning.
    Best video ever, which is not easy to do as I your videos and have taught so much from them. But being a Dane I get you and your humor 100%
    Thank you so much

  9. I’m just away oot after my hot cup of tea shutting the door behind me. Off to the allotment before falling doon a hole while eating ma soggy brussel sprouts and burnt gravy. Muy bien Lol😎

  10. I’m Slovenian. The worst thing ever ever in this world you can do in Slovenia is leave the door open. Or even a window. A Slovenian person will instantly freak out, run to the door and slam it while naming 7 reasons why you must always close the door. A Slovenian person believes that if the door or a window is open (regardless of the temperatures, -10 in winter, +30 in summer) the whole family will get pneumonia in die within days. The feeling of air flowing is something that Slovenians are not genetically predisposed to cope with. Don’t try to open a window in the car while driving 20 km/h on a hot summer’s day. It’s pneumonia. Don’t try to bring some fresh air into the room with many people. It’s pneumonia. Do you really want to kill people? And the best: Slovenian language has a word that’s impossible to translate into English, it’s PREPIH. It means air flowing from all possible directions simultaneously so that everybody is quickly approaching a state where pneumonia is inevitable and so the only thing left to do is to write your will and lie down until death comes upon you.

    I lived in New Zealand some years ago. New Zealanders are every Slovenian’s worst nightmare. Not that they leave the door open and windows as well, they don’t have central heating systems in their houses. Their houses are built of cardboard and plywood so air flows through. Their windows are a prehistorical thin layer of glass with terrible seals so air can penetrate easily. They don’t just open the windows while driving in winter, they actually never close them since theft is unheard of. Yes, for a Slovenian living in New Zealand you have to learn to tell yourself 50 times a day that not all New Zealanders have pneumonia all the time.

    The result? I learnt the value of fresh air in New Zealand and brought it home with me. Now, my friends don’t visit me anymore because they think I want them to get pneumonia.

  11. So you’re telling me if a Spanish person’s elderly Grandma has died, I can’t lighten the mood with the classic cricket analogy, “Well, she had a good innings”?

    Good to know!

  12. That’s funny you mention the hot drink thing Gordon. I employed a guy from Galicia and when I made the coffee he would always complain he’d burnt himself, asi que, lo siento Miguel…..

  13. This was hilarious! Is Cynthia going to do one now about English people? LOL I think my mother who is from the south in the US May actually be from Spain. When talking on the phone I have to start saying I have to go about an hour before I really have to go 😂 also she definitely does the eating breakfast what’s for lunch thing.

  14. What about mixing food from different countries and regions? We do that a lot here in sweden. And keeping the cold or the mosquitoes outside.

  15. Very good Gordon. It sounds like you are having a right rant!! I love the one about leaving the doors open in winter. Who needs to pay for a counselling session if you can ” vent” your frustrations here. Brilliant!! You know the old saying…. you can take a horse to water.. etc.

  16. You are quite right when it comes to the Spaniards’ feeling about there food. They think it is the best in the world . I associate with many Americans at the nearby navy base here in Rota and I have heard several Americans who detest Spanish cuisine. For me I like probably most of it but not everything just like I don’t like all American foods that I grew up. My wife is much more picky than me. Understandably she is a native of South Korea and nothing she eats either here or in the USA tastes right to her. To her all foods outside of Korea are too bland, haha.

  17. After living in Spain for 5 years I have rarely been served coffee in a coffee shop or bar that was not piping hot. As hot as any I have had in the USA. However quite often they will ask if I want the milk they add to be hot from the steamer that is part of the espresso machine.

  18. Your phrase wasn’t strong enough, in Ireland it’s ‘shut the fu*king door! You’re letting the fu*king heat out!’

  19. The one thumb down was Cynthia? btw if you do microwave your food or coffee don’t let “them” see you do it.

  20. The hot drink thing is so true, and also with food… I sometimes finish my whole plate while my other half waits for his to cool down to lukewarm.

  21. :-)Gordon you are the best and you are getting better and better! Now we just have to wait for Cyntya’s revenge, then we will see who is and who is not familiar with rules of thermodynamics….

  22. An old, old man was lying in his death bed upstairs. His most favorite food in the world was chocolate chip cookies. As he lay there, gasping for each breath, he was sure he could smell freshly-baked chocolate chip cookies. He crawled out of bed and slowly limped down the stairs. Sure enough, across the kitchen, there was a huge platter of chocolate chip cookies on the table. He finally made it to the table and he reached a shaking hand towards the cookies. Suddenly, his wife slapped his hand sharply and yelled, “DON’T TOUCH THOSE – they’re for the funeral!”

  23. The French also know how bad English food is, the word “beans” has even been adopted into french slang meaning something is “terrible” or “really bad”. C’est du beans, ça!

  24. Great video sadly a little late for me, but hopefully some will be able to save themselves whilst there is time. I’ve just come back from living in Ajalvir, Madrid 3 months. I was just watching this, wondering if i have broken any of these rules and upset the Spanish people i mixed with. Number 2 Hot drinks: 2 women i worked with thought i was weirdest person in the world for drinking hot water- agua caliente. They had never seen this before and weeks later would still joke to me “es verano 35 grados quieres un poco más de agua caliente”. And Number 4 Jokes about death. I worked in care and so that was used to it every week, i had some great jokes which just had no reaction but they would have been belters if i had been england. Sadly i had to lower to my standards of jokes to get a laugh by including the words poop or toilet. Little tip find a english friend their and you get an opportunity to keep saying humour. And Number 5 Gravy. Oh no!! what i have done! lo siento espana. I asked for some gravy, but in my defence i was weak (probably from malnourishment) and i doubted i would get a taste of it ever again. So much of the food would have benefited from being in a partnership with a gravy. When i tried to describe the glorious taste of gravy to them, the usual reply was asking if me it was a salsa. At which point i wished i never started the conversation, and mentally said something derogative in my head cursing olive oil. Another little tip take along with you gravy granules, custard powder and brown sauce.

  25. Gracias, Gordon. Muy divertido! The first no-no about guests reminded me of a phrase my South Shields aunties used to say about visitors who might have over-stayed their welcome: “Here’s your hat, what’s your hurry? “

  26. muy divertido, pero puedo asegurarle que esta lista es mucho más larga que los cinco puntos mencionados

  27. Interesting how thin skinned they are about their food yet espouse that England’s is crap, probably without ever having had a delicious hearty English country meal. Perhaps a touch of xenophobia ?

  28. As an English man living in Spain I’ve managed to spend my time with the locals rather than other brits, but I still learned a few things here and it explained a few pained faces that I had seen.
    I realize now that I have very kind friends here and I get away with a lot by being very sincere, but I’ll have to explain my gallows humour and fussy food habits better.
    Spanish people are lovely and most seem to give foreigners more leeway because they’re not stupid. If they can see that you’re trying, they can be very generous.
    I feel more free not to settle for a cold milk coffee now, they can just run that microwave for an extra 30secs and I’ll teach them sipping.

  29. Hi. My name’s sniffrat. I close doors and switch off lights. I’m British. Just doing my job. 🙂

  30. That was really fun to watch Gordon. I’d love to hear a version where Cynthia lists (in Spanish) her top 5 things never to say to an English person (since she lived here for so long). I can’t think of anything that would rile us as much as criticising their food does, but maybe I’m wrong?

  31. This is the absolutely best “Spanish” learning video I have had the pleasure of watching. I’m not sure if you’re a Comedian but you certainly should be.
    Bravo, mi nuevo amigo.

  32. It’s funny how Spanish people see the whole getting thier coat/walking them to the door thing is rude; it’d probably be rude _not_ to do that in England; almost like you’re impeding them from leaving, haha. Edit: just got to 2:30 and you said the same thing, haha. On another note, I’ve often wondered about how sipping a sugary tea/coffee would effect the health of your teeth (particularly the front teeth) where – by sipping – you’re probably allowing the sugar to come into contact with your teeth for longer periods. Maybe we should sip using straws instead… I’d imagine our American friends would agree that we (British) might benefit from a different method, haha.

  33. Gracias Gordon.
    He estado practicando español durantes cinco meses ahora y yo veo tu canal ahora. Es genial.

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